McHammer = SE Jesus , and Google is the Devil?

Mc Hammer gets his own search engine?

Save me Hammer!!!!!!!!!! From the Panda.....

Beat the Panda with a Hammer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, why aren't they calling the search engine: Hammer.com?

New Adsense Interface

I will switch to the new interface Google when you pry it from my cold dead hands, and not a moment sooner.

Site Speed Performance

Dear Google,
Why is my site speed performance statistic stuck at 9/26? Does this date mean something? Does this date have some deeper inherit meaning? Should I build a time machine and go back to this date?

Please advise,
Me.